Sunday, October 10, 2010
What should I be when I grow up?
I have decided I hate nursing school. I'm not even sure I really want to be a nurse anymore. Honestly, it's depressing and I just don't know I have it in me to do this. Yes, I care for my patients. Sometimes I care too much and it makes me sad. Certain situations just make me want to run home and hold my babies or call my husband and tell him I love him. Life is too short and I don't like the constant reminders. I do realize there are lots of rewards in nursing too, but lately they've been few and far between. So why am I still hanging in there? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I feel I'm going to let so many people down if I quit now? Maybe it's because I'm hoping that if I do finish and find a job in L&D I will actually enjoy it again? Maybe it's because I don't know what else to do with my life? I don't know, but I'm not doing well in school again. I am trying, but I just don't feel this was the path I was meant to take. I'm ready to be done and I need to find my place in this world. I don't know where it is, but I sure don't feel it's here. :(